Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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