This girl is more easily done than said...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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