Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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