She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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