What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just cropdusted the office
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
