Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
