Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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