Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
