also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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