they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize