You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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