I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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