i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
