Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
