forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
