Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
