I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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