I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize