I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
