I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
