I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also, beer. Big fan.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
