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He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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