Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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