i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
