The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
