I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
