i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
