pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
