Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm at about main and main street
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
