i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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