i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
