Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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