Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
