Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize