Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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