bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
