i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
