Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
