Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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