and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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