ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
