Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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