Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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