I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
