is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
