what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
