just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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