Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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