And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
