whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
