how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
