We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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