Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
