Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
