Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
