Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize