At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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