shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
