Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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