The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
wanna go halves on a baby?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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