I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
