I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
