he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
