whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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