either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
