Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
