You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize