Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize