I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He's on the porch naked. Help.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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