i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
