whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
