Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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