addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
