that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize