he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
