Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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