Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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