you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
